THE RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the halls out of the hole.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so, may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the whole course, with special attention to well formed bunkers..

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage player's equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled. particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they consider to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may he embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players wiil find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. The course owner is responsible for the manicuring and pruning of any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with and approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace. at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

16. Inviting a friend, or friends, to play the course with you leads to all sorts of difficulties and should be avoided. However, a more flamboyant course owner may be partial to group games hut you should proceed with caution.

17. Boasting about your game plan and style of play to your friends is not encouraged and may lead to you being banned from the course.

13. Some owners demand cash payment for the privilege of playing their course. You would be well advised to avoid this sort of game and play your regular course. (Particularly if you are a public figure!)

19. Smokers are requested not to smoke during their game. If the course owner smokes during play, you would be well advised to give up and go home early.

20. The course owner shall be the sole judge of who is the best player.

OK either your going to switch off and have a game or it's back you go.